inadequate_net (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} inadequate_net) wrote,@ 2005-08-20 14:36:00 |
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that nagging feeling of inadequacy
There always seems to be something nagging at me.
I look around and think that I'm on schedule. I'm doing what most people my age are doing. If I waste one night on beer, it's okay. If I sleep for a day, I can catch up tomorrow. I don't do either very often.
But beneath it all, almost like a biological imperative, something tells me that I should be doing more. I should be awake and reading and searching and writing and working . . . but I'm never sure exactly what it is I should be doing that I'm not. In all the reading and working and searching, what is it that I'm aiming for?
I have a wonderful girlfriend -- a wife -- and the best dog ever and a good job in a field I'm interested in and I go to school fulltime and I spend more time reading than in front of the television or computer (when I'm home), so why the nagging feeling that I'm not productive?
What is it that's bothering me?
There always seems to be something nagging at me.
I look around and think that I'm on schedule. I'm doing what most people my age are doing. If I waste one night on beer, it's okay. If I sleep for a day, I can catch up tomorrow. I don't do either very often.
But beneath it all, almost like a biological imperative, something tells me that I should be doing more. I should be awake and reading and searching and writing and working . . . but I'm never sure exactly what it is I should be doing that I'm not. In all the reading and working and searching, what is it that I'm aiming for?
I have a wonderful girlfriend -- a wife -- and the best dog ever and a good job in a field I'm interested in and I go to school fulltime and I spend more time reading than in front of the television or computer (when I'm home), so why the nagging feeling that I'm not productive?
What is it that's bothering me?
